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Eve teasing or crime against women?
Submitted by Anonymous on 5 October 2008 - 9:27pm.
By M. Hanif Lakdawala,
Raisa Baig, 18, a student of Mass Media had to spend three hours at the police station in South Mumbai to lodge a complaint against a man who physically touched her intentionally when she was commuting to college by bus.
When she was struggling with the molester, not a single fellow traveler came to her rescue and she had to fight it out single-handedly. This happened in a Muslim dominated area and the victim and culprit both were Muslims.
Most people, including the woman herself, feel that lewd stares, songs, obscene words and threats are not "as bad" as rape. As the reaction of co-passengers and police highlight, there is a hierarchy of violence where some offences are more acceptable and treated as "normal." This is a fallacy that ignores what a woman faces every time she leaves the house, bracing herself for any such abuse. Every woman has the right to safe travel.
Women must realise that it is not "their fault" that such crimes occur. "Often we are made to feel ashamed, and therefore made to maintain silence when we do face abuse. We are blamed by authorities, perpetrators and on-lookers alike for, say, our clothes, daring to go out at night, travelling on a train alone and so on," said Raisa.
Why Raisa took the trouble of confronting the culprit at the grave risk? "By recognizing that this stigma is constructed, and by speaking out against it, I wanted to identify the attitude of the culprit that humiliated and victimised me. Only through highlighting the occurrence and extent of the phenomenon will the appropriate authorities take responsibility and act," she said.
Photo by Screen Sifar
This writer spoke to 14 women for this article. Every woman had an experience of such violence to recount. Hearing the experiences of so many women indicate the pervasiveness of such incidents as well as the helplessness felt by women traveling in trains and bus.
Abida Khan, 32, a teacher with the primary school in south Mumbai also faces similar sexual harassment while traveling in bus. "I find myself totally helpless. I feel I have no power or social support to stop such abuses, even though it occurs frequently in very public spaces and in front of many people," she said. Once Abida confronted the culprit, but she was shocked that co-passengers ignored the incident, not wanting to get involved, or "hassled" with "problems."
Many women said that passengers watch the scene as a form of entertainment. The comments of the onlookers frequently favour the offenders, reflecting a lack of understanding and sensitivity of the woman's situation.
Asiya Dawrey, 29, working in a Bank, frequently faces sexual harassment while traveling. "People often express surprise as to why she is making a 'big deal' over a stare, a touch or a song. The violation of a woman's rights, her dignity and her subsequent response and demand for justice is considered melodramatic," said Asiya.
"Crimes against women are growing by day, but most women still shy away from learning self-defense skills, they rather react negatively and see it as tomboyish and unladylike, or they think themselves too old for it," says Arvind Khaire, director, Women's Self-Defence Foundation.
"Today crimes against them are on a rise at an alarming rate, and every woman is a potential victim, irrespective of her age," says Khaire, in a new book, ``Against Close Encounters: Every Woman's Survival Manual."
Women are teased openly and molested mercilessly, every day. Self-protection gears up a woman to fight all this. But Khaire says, "Upon being advised to take up self-protection courses, most women react negatively, as they misunderstand the meaning of the term 'self-protection'."
"The most important aspects of self-protection are the awareness to recognize potential danger, avoid or neutralize any tense situation with assertiveness, verbal tactics, safety strategies and resorting to physical tactics as a last effort, which enables the would-be victim to effectively prevent, resist, escape and survive a close encounter," says Khaire.
Asserting yourself is an important part of taking control of your life. If some behaviour is making you feel bad, uncomfortable, scared, confront the person. Tell them what you want them to do. "You're constantly touching me. I don't like it. Stop it."
If someone is bothering you in a public place, make a scene! It will be much more embarrassing for that person than for you! Voice is a weapon, too. Getting right in to someone's face and screaming will throw them off. Yelling, alerts other people and can freak an attacker out. It can also help channel your fear into aggression. Shout "NO!"
Remember, if your gut feeling tells you something immoral going on - DO SOMETHING, whether it's confronting the person, getting to safety, calling someone for help.
It is critical that family members and members of the public recognise that sexual harassment is a crime and is not the result of a woman's behaviour, her appearance etc. They must support women who speak out and want to take action, and not be embarrassed by it or insinuate that she "asked for it." It is unlikely that women will be able to act against sexual harassment without this support.
This article first appeared in Islamic Voice, September 2008 issue.
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Eve-Teasing is a crime agaist women
Indeed it's an alarming and upsetting state for women especially in India. Writer has, no doubt caught the right vein. Did it clicked anyone that the women so victim can be anyone including our mother, sisters, daughters etc. So it is more disturbing situation for men than women in my opinion even if the culprits are from us. The problem to the depth I can analyze lies in perception which greatly differs from women to women. If the sufferer happens to be our relative then we create great hue and cry but if the innocent women is not our family member or friend then we are silent and happily complete our duty of being a good spectator and entertain ourselves and other later by discussing such issue. Shame on Us!!!!
There is a need to spread awareness regarding this in society. People should be aware that if we are part of such shameful acts then it’s better if we be ready to accept same kind of behavior from others towards our own mother, sister and daughters. If we don't want to face these evils then we must retaliate and teach a good lesson to culprits and miscreants on every such incident we happen to pass by.
Women are also advised to take few precautionary measures in their self defense like:
1) Women must try to oppose every such incident happening with them. Especially women should teach a good lesson if they can, on spot.
2) If it is physical molestation then they must inform their fellow passengers or anyone they can find at the time, even it is embarrassing but it shall be more uncomfortable for the culprits at the end.
3) Women should not feel helpless in such cases but they should strongly oppose and should react back on every such event and other women should also come forward to rescue their fellow sisters.
4) It shall be stopped completely but then women should be daring enough to raise their voice against these types of ill-treatments, without hesitating.
5) Women journalists and whole media should make every such occurrence of high importance so that it comes into other’s notice.
This is a no doubt a male dominated society. It could be said that men and women are equal as per law but the ground reality is entirely different. There should be a revolution among all to stop every such unpleasant episode form happening in society.
"Remember it’s a world made of glass. What we give comes back to us. Stop evil so that it can’t harm you or your relatives. Engage in it and be ready to suffer."
Symptoms of a Repressed society!
The average Indian guy sees action at age of 28-30+ range in a normal middle class family.The society in general proscribe against sex education,gender sensitization by co-education and mingling.The average youth find solace to his sexual tension through voyeurism and pornographic literature.I am all for pornography but sex education by pornography is dangerous because pornography is a substitute for rape(found by studies in western countries) and gender education through pornography will destroy relationships of vulnerable youth.
The huge uproar against Adolescent Education Programme(AEP) clearly shows that we get what we deserve and our prudishness will take us to our grave. A strong and comprehensive AEP will enlighten youth to respect women's dignity and empathize with them. Young people who get co-educated from childhood have a greater empathy for women and less sexist in his outlook. In co-educated environment ,without seat segregation apartheid like in most schools and colleges, boys and girls will learn a lot from each other and form healthy relationships whose benefits percolate to their adult life like conflict management skills,empathy compassion etc.The immaturity of our society today is also laughable, when incidents of rape increased in Trivandrum,Kerala what police did is to raid VCD rental shops to seize pornography.These are the type of morons who make life and death decision for us .Simply blaming people in general for "molesting"/"touching" is easy(its not news..everybody face it ..even men/boys), but are we prepared to address root causes and take corrective measures or just whine?
it's equally sad and equally true..
Luckily or unluckily I have the fortune to live in a metro city, have parents who know the value of education and doesn’t mind their daughter studying in co-ed, working with guys or even be friends with them. It seems all good life at one glance doesn’t it??? But, then I share the same misfortune of being a girl with other females of the world, just like the article above. Go in any part of the world and I can guarantee you can’t find a single girl who can admit she has not been through the never ending ordeal of living and winning with self respect in this man dominated society.
Everyday when I leave for office, I just don’t have to check my to do list but have to prepare myself for the stares (which sometimes seriously bugs you) from total strangers, rude remarks (thank god they are mostly in local language and I can’t understand them), double meaning comments from colleagues, clients and boss, and any so mishap which may occur in the very so ordinary business of life.
It might seem a kind of burden for every male reader, but its the fact that we actually have to struggle everyday on whether to hide ourselves in home to escape these emotional, physical at times sexual harassments or should begin the new day keeping quiet and silently accepting these irritating behavior of the opposite sex.
Just because I am a girl don’t I have a right to live peacefully and respectfully in this society?? Can’t I be free of these emotional dilemmas every time I step out??? If seriously there have been any women empowerment, somebody will please tell me why I can’t note the difference??
Excellent article..
Great article..and it hits the nail.People,incluiding women and men find eve teasing just 'normal'..Most sadly,majority blames the girl for not having 'taken care'..Uh..what does taking care inside a bus mean? Even when girls react,almost all sick dumbos in the bus will stare at the girl,and not the culprit,for being outspoken..such a great world around us...They never know the mental and emotional harassment the girl goes through...
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